2. The Tooth Fairy has the same handwriting as my mom.
3. If you cry when you don’t get a gift on your sister’s birthday, you will get a gift on her birthday next year.
4. “Grandpa’s Medicine” in a sippie-cup always makes you fall asleep easier because the ingredients are warm Vernors and whiskey.
5. If mommy gets mad at daddy, you get a hamster.
6. If you can’t decide what to wear to school, you miss having to ride the bus.
7. Temper tantrums in public will cause your mother to forget who you are.
8. There are things you can spend your money on when it no longer becomes acceptable to buy toys.
9. “Because I said so” is what it is.
10. Unicorns actually have a nose.
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