My Favorite Breed is Rescued

The story of Simba...

Justin and I were at the Clawson Paws and Claws rescue dog walk 3 years ago with my MinPin Hailey. Best Buddy Pet Rescue was one of many there that day with crates of dogs looking for their forever homes. One dog caught Justin's eye. A 20 pound shepherd mix being hauled off in the arms of a young girl to get some privacy on a quick walk. Another walk by and we noticed this dog back in his crate. Justin squatted down to check him out, Simba the lady said. Simba pressed himself to the furthest corner of his crate to separate himself from Justin.

We went home and in no time Justin decided that he wanted Simba to be his. I was able to find Simba up for adoption through Best Buddy on petfinder.com. Best Buddy's next rescue show was Meet Your Best Friend at the Zoo the next day! What if someone else took him!? Justin had to work the next day so I drove to the Zoo adoption event early the next morning, parked among hundreds of other people looking for pets and ran like a maniac up to Best Buddy's tent. I found Carole, Simba's foster mom, who said she did not bring Simba that day; the zoo would have been too much for him to handle. I talked to her about Simba and she said Justin could meet him!

A few days later, Justin and his twin sister Kara met Simba at the local Petco and Simba came home with them as "Scooter."

Scooter was so scared he didn't bark for two weeks. He sat curled up in "his spot" on the couch and had to be fed pieces of his kibble by hand. Kara threatened daily that we would find Scooter out on the street with a "free" sign around his neck.

Scooter began to gain confidence by being around other dogs. Scooter and Hailey bonded quickly, although Hailey still won't admit she likes him, and Hailey taught Scooter many things including how to bark (unfortunately). Scooter needed to meet someone consistently at least 10-20 times before he could calm down after sounding the howling alarm and relax on the couch until someone looked at him. To us and those people who are in Scoot's close circle of trust, he is the most loving and loyal dog I have ever known. To outsiders, he is annoying and untrustworthy. He's so scary that as he barks at you he runs backward.

It's been about three years now since we've had Scooter in our lives and I wouldn't change a moment. Scooter's circle of trust has expanded and just this weekend he didn't bark at my parents and actually let my mom and dad pet him. This is an enormous improvement from the times my dad tried to walk Scooter on a leash and literally scared the shit out of him - literally. Yesterday, my girlfriend Stef came over and as she sat in the kitchen, Scoot came up to give her kisses and let her pet him and talk to him. This melted my heart.


Scooter enjoys long walks, capturing small animals, performing rapid-fire high-fives and roll overs until he gets the treat even if all that was demanded was a sit, he HATES sudden loud noises including thunder which he can never seem to find no matter how hard he looks for it, loves cuddling, wrestling, and snoring.

Justin has always said if Scooter could understand him for just one minute he would tell him that everyone loves him and not to be afraid. I think Scooter is slowly but surely learning this. He's gained a lot of confidence - always likes to be the leader on walks rather than overcome with fear and peeing on the city sidewalk. He lets me cuddle him every night like a little rag doll. He knows so many tricks and stays by my side when we camp without needing to be on a leash. Scooter is the epitome of a loyal friend and we are so lucky he came to us for his forever home.

Floating In Your Basement

As many people in southeast Michigan experienced last summer, there are three ways water can enter and damage your home:

1. Basement backup (usually through the floor drain)
2. Flood (as defined by FEMA)
3. Backup of stormwater over the foundation of the home

Insurance companies typically only insure the first cause above. If you have a sump pump then you won't be covered unless the sump pump suffers a complete mechanical failure. Where is the sledge hammer and what does a complete mechanical failure need to look like? 

It's important to know how much coverage you have for a basement backup. Without asking, you may only end up with $5,000 worth of coverage when the damage is tens of thousands. My house is a tri-level so my sump pump is on the same level as some of the most expensive things in my house.

Flood insurance is only provided through FEMA for flood zones. Let me tell you that with the stormwater problems we have in Michigan, many areas are being added to that list. A flood is defined by FEMA as something like the overflow of a body of water or a rare rapid accumulation of surface water that travels over the foundation of a home. Not up through the drains.

The last cause of water that could enter your home from outside is the backup of stormwater. I've found that many insurance professionals deny this third distinction exists. I call it a loophole. Stormwater can overwhelm a drain system and accumulate and rise up in the streets eventually flooding into your home. It's different from the above two causes because (1) it does not come up the drain in your "basement" and, (2) it is not a rare rapid accumulation of water.

I've personally seen this stormwater backup in front of my prior home in St Claire Shores. The street would flood and so would my yard. Water came in through/over the foundation and down my basement walls. An insurance company would most certainly deny a claim based on damage from this cause. Why? Water didn't back up through the floor drain and there was no flood. 

Precautions! 

Insist on specific broad coverage for water damage on your home owners policy. Hire a professional licensed plumber to assess the risk to your home and install back flow preventers and a standing pipe. These may not prevent water damage but will at least slow it down if it happens (i.e., a few inches of water in your basement vs a few feet). Don't store anything valuable on a basement floor. Use shelving and still don't store anything not worth risking damage on those shelves, depending on where you live!

It's important to find out how close you are to a water retention basin or drainage facility. If stormwater builds up too much gravity won't allow it down the pipes out to the rivers and lake. It backs up from there. Sometimes all the way into your local pipes and into your basement. Systems just are not designed to handle some of the harsh storms we are experiencing today.

Equally important is to find out if you live in an area with a combined system, a separated system, or you have your own septic field. The longer a community has been in existence in a suburban area, the more likely it has a combined system. Combined of what, you ask? Sanitary and stormwater run through the same pipes. Yep, if stormwater backs up, guess what's in that stormwater? Royal Oak residents are a prime example of people who get turds in their basements. Waterford, it's separate. Woo!

And I just have to say to all those parents who let their kids play in the flood water after the storm that I've seen on the news - your kids are playing in crap, people. 

Pure Michigan!

Snowbunny!

So before last winter, the closest I ever came to participating in winter sports was dressing up as a snow bunny for Halloween at MSU - I wore a bikini top, a down vest, a skirt, boots, bunny ears and ski goggles. Right.

I've always thought snowboarding looked super cool and when I asked to try it I was promptly told no, but you can try to ski. Some would call me accident prone because I bump into most anything often and it hurts. But I have done a lot of yoga so my balance is not terrible. I do admit having both feet not attached to the same board is a benefit to me.

Last March my husband and I went to Shanty Creek for the weekend and I had my first skiing episode. I borrowed skis that were meant for a 12 year old (didn't know that at the time) and so I had a rough go at first. I couldn't get the damn ski boots on so Justin had to basically muscle them onto my feet and buckle them for me. It hurt so bad I threatened to give up right then. And then, have you ever tried to walk in ski boots? Let alone ski boots that don't fit? I felt like a drunk dinosaur.

Justin tried to teach me the pizza and the French fry but it was difficult because he is an excellent snowboarder and hadn't been on skis in a long while. I was able to get myself onto the magic carpet with the 3 and 7 year olds and didn't fall going to the top of the bunny hill. Down I went and I tried to pizza but it wasn't slowing me down and so I fell to stop myself from flying straight off the bunny hill into the lodge. I went back to the car, cried it out, decided to get myself some liquid courage and told Justin to go "shred" (just learned that) and find me later.

Best advice ever - I got a private lesson by an awesome lady who I had to put my fear aside because I can't be a baby in front of her, only in front of my husband - he's very used to it. I learned a ton and even got on ski lifts! By the end of my lesson I was cruising down a regular hill gooney-style because my poles were also for a 12 year old. My instructor nicely told me, "oh those just get in the way, let's both leave our poles here." I thought I was just that good that I didn't need poles. Not.

Fast forward to this year. I bought my very own skis! and all of the other expensive equipment that I discovered I needed after studying my friend Alina's ski prep. Now I am determined to get better at skiing than I am at drinking in the ski lodge to justify my "investment." It was actually pretty cold this ski trip to Alpine Valley so I bundled up. I felt like Jake from Little Giants wrapped in foam padding, waddling out to play with the team, blowing bubbles out of his nose. Still learning how to walk naturally in ski boots and wearing goggles and my coat zipped up to my nose I had to leave my pigtail shooting straight out the front just so someone could tell what gender I might be. Hi guys, I'm ready to ski!

The ski lift only hit me in the ass twice getting off until I realized I needed to stand up a second or two later than I was doing. I still am not looking down when I'm up that high. I enjoy practicing my form in my skis in my living room. I love the ski outfits just as much if not more than the sport itself (typical). Going too fast terrifies me and pizza is a great thigh workout. I only have 4 bruises from my second ski trip and none of them are from falling! I was 3 feet away from being creamed by a tiny Asian girl on skis going down the hill. Beware of small children - they have no fear, no direction, and no speed control.
I've been asked if I have even an ounce of athletic ability and I've replied maybe an ounce. I've come a long way since my MSU snow bunny days and am proud to finally say I can ski, kind of.

Tous Les Produits Naturels

I recently realized that most all of the beauty products I use contain ingredients that can cause cancer and are just not necessary for the body to have to endure. I want to recommend my two absolute favorite natural brands I have found that also work better than the standard commercial products!

The following products are free from this bad stuff:

• parabens - contributes to developing breast cancer
• vegan - non-vegan items contain animal products which could lead to cancer
• synthetic fragrance - random chemical compounds that are not required to be disclosed to the customer
• silicone - heat resistant rubbery compound that can create a product buildup
• phthalate - acid used in the manufacture of plastics that if ingested can cause kidney or liver failure
• gluten - causes irritation and allergies to some people 
• mineral oil - a cheap filler that merely expands a product
• triclosan - anti-bacterial and anti-fungal agent
• sodium lauryl sulfate - a carcinogen that causes cancer

Acure
For Your Skin | For the Planet 
www.acureorganics.com

These products have food grade ingredients, and are paraben free, vegan, synthetic fragrance free, silicone free, phthalate free, and gluten free.

You can purchase these products at the Acure website and receive them shipped to your home just a few days later. Shipping is always free! You are sent a tracking number as soon as your order ships which is usually the same or next day.

 facial cleanser gel superfruit + chlorella growth factor
This facial cleanser works better than any I have ever tried, including Cetaphil. It  is very gentle but provides a good clean feeling and actually removes stubborn eyeliner and mascara. It's nice getting out of the shower and not looking like a raccoon. It only costs $14.99 for 4 ounces, which is less expensive than a lot of drug store brands anyway.

 day cream: gotu kola stem cell + 1% chlorella growth factor
This moisturizer is perfect for every day use and is not greasy. It does not leave your skin oily or dry - it is great for any skin type in my opinion. It is a bit more expensive at $18.99 for 1.75 ounces but will last for months and your skin is worth it.

 lemongrass + argan stem cell shampoo clarifying keratin boosting
This shampoo is clarifying and great for all hair types. It uses organic avocado oil to nourish your hair. This shampoo costs $9.99 and is worth every penny. The lemongrass also comes in a conditioner.

pure mint + echinacea stem cell conditioner volumizing

This conditioner leaves your hair smelling amazing and in great health. It builds volume with lightweight moisture. For only $9.99, it's all natural ingredients are worth not putting something on your head every day that can harm you. The pure mint also comes in shampoo.

tarte
high-performance naturals
www.tartecosmetics.com

This line does not use parabens, mineral oil, phthalates, triclosan, sodium lauryl sulfate, or gluten.

This makeup line is all natural and very high quality. You can buy it online but I shop at Ulta for these products. Ulta has a rewards card so when you spend money you eventually get dollars back on future purchases.

I love the amazonian clay mineral bronzer ($30) and the gifted amazonian clay smart mascara ($20). The bronzer creates a very natural glow and the mascara is better than any high volume intensifying mascara I have ever used.

All photos contained in this blog post are from www.acureorganics.com or www.tartecosmetics.com

New Probate Blog

Over the past few years I have found a topic that I know a lot about and that may be pretty foreign to others - the stressful world of probate and estate planning!

I thought I would share some of my knowledge through a new blog. It may help someone figure out that they need an estate plan or give direction to someone who has to deal with a probate court process.

I will try to add the bulk of the information in the next few months (I already have about 30 posts in my head that I need to write) and then add more specialized information as time goes on. 

Check it out: http://miprobate.blogspot.com/

Beware of... stupid people?

Yet another news article about a child, this one only 19 months old, being mauled by a pit-bull. What happened this time? Oh, the child decided to give the pit-bull a hug - while the dog was tied to a pole. And of course the dog looses its life. Thank god the child survived. Where was the parent to this 19-month-old? Who in their right mind would allow a child to hug a dog they didn't know? Let alone a pit-bull tied to a pole, hello people it is a muscular dog with sharp teeth, like most dogs. I'm sure the dog felt threatened. The guardian of this child should take responsibility for this one under the law and is lucky if they are not charged with neglect.

It makes me stare in disbelief when people allow kids to interact with strange dogs. All people should respect the animals more and not assume they can walk up and pet a dog they don't know. Most dogs are much more protective and feel threatened when they are on a leash, behind a gate or fence, in a crate/cage, or tied up. Parents should teach their children to always ask before approaching a stranger's dog and then dog owners just learn that the answer is always "No." Why risk your dog's life and a person's safety by giving into the person for no reason at all? Your dog does not need to be pet by strangers.

Justin and I adopted a dog, Scooter, who was either from a puppy mill or badly abused, which pretty much goes hand in hand, and he is terrified of new people. It takes at least 10-20 times of consistently being around Scooter for him to like a new person. Scooter was so scared when we first adopted him that he literally peed on my sister-in-law's head when a stranger came through the door and the few times my dad tried to pet him or take his leash, it scared the shit out of him - literally. He's gotten much better but is still generally scared when not around his trusted circle of humans or when idiots shoot off fireworks for weeks on end throughout the summer.

Scooter is the most amazing and sweet, cuddly dog I've ever experienced and I couldn't be happier with him. It's people that baffle me; I totally understand Scooter. For some reason people take offense to the fact that he is scared of them. Others think they are the dog whisperer and that there isn't a dog out there that could possibly not like them. We tell everyone - just don't look at him, please ignore his terrified howling. What do they do? Walk right up to him as he cowers and backs away barking more and louder trying to get Scooter to come to them or let them pet him. Don't you get it? This dog is terrified and does not want to be pet. If he bites you, you provoked him, consider yourself warned.

Retreat

People are typically surprised when they ask about my weekend plans and I respond that we're going camping. I'm not sure why people don't think I'm outdoorsy - the right outfit makes anything fun, just kidding. Not related to camping but random thought: my favorite part about the co-ed softball league was my matching knee-highs and shorts. Anyway, I love camping because of exploring new places, nature, slow-paced days, taking the dogs for walks, food, campfires, and walking around 100% of the time with a beer in hand. I especially like camping in areas with no cell phone service because of my husband's obsession with stupid Clash of Clans. I don't know how many times I've threatened to take his phone and throw it in some body of water from which it shall never return.

My first camping experience was at Ionia State Park in Michigan where Justin and I rented a tiny cabin. It was a pretty big shopping trip just to be able to camp in a cabin but it was so much fun. The cabin just had two bunk beds, a small table, two chairs and a wall heater. We couldn't bring Hailey because no dogs are allowed in State Park cabins. We "camped" there in October so the weather required hats and mittens but we were able to go on hikes without being eaten alive by mosquitos and we stayed up all night playing beer pong just the two of us next to the campfire. Redbull played an important role in the late night beer pong and we paid for it the next day.

The following year we went tent camping for my family reunion at Wagener County Park in Harbor Beach, Michigan. We were the only fools there with a tent. It was pouring rain upon arrival but we still decided to "quickly" get the tent up so it would just be done with. Our tent leaked the entire weekend. The worst part about tent camping is sleeping on an air mattress with someone who is close to 75 lbs heavier than you. The entire night I clung for dear life onto my side of the air mattress like hanging on to the side of a cliff. Again no dogs in tents.

After the tent experience we decided to purchase a pop-up camper because it would be awesome to sleep on something that did not require air and we would be able to bring our dogs camping! One of the main points of camping is being able to get away for a weekend without having to pay to send our dogs to Camp Bow Wow or whatever other brilliant pet resort we use (I still want one, venture capitalists??). I scored a pop-up for just $1,800 - I don't know why I thought they would be way more?

It served us well for a year until the cables broke at the family reunion that following year and we turned the lights on inside of it, in the middle of the night, spending about an hour trying to prop it up and open with boards, as I watched thousands of bugs swarm the lights - inside the camper. I think we slept with 5,000 bugs that night inside our pop-up camper and hoped the 2 x 6's holding up the roof stayed-put. The next day I went to my Aunt Doris's place across the street from the campground and borrowed a dirt devil to vacuum those suckers to their deaths. It was gross. 

Oh, but funny story about getting the dirt devil. My mom randomly left full cans of beer in totally random places that weekend - for example on the hitch of my camper underneath a queen size pop-out bed, why would she duck under this huge mattress platform to put down her beer? No clue. Anyways, so she also left a full can of opened beer on the back bumper of Justin's truck, which I drove out of the campground, across traffic, and up a steep driveway to Aunt Doris's. It did not fall off! Wow! I'm still surprised! I knew I was a good driver. 

Then after spending a half hour popping and cranking and pulling and propping and loading and unloading the pop-up camper when we got to campsites around 10 pm Friday nights after work, while everyone else simply pulled in and hooked up made us decide to sell the pop-up and get a travel trailer. I did some online research (found the first one I liked and bought it without seeing it) and two days later Justin went to Dewitt to pick up our 2008 Palamino Gazelle. I LOVE it! I never imagined how nice it would be to have a shower and a toilet in the camper that is so easy to use! Sure beats showering with killer green hoppers and squatting next to the woods all night. I no longer have to convince myself how sanitary pee is. We love being able to drive in, put out our rugs, pull down our awning and be drinking in less than 5 minutes. Waiting an hour to drink before while we popped and cranked was unacceptable according to my fellow campers.

Anti-Anxiety

One thing that really helps me wind down at the end of a stressful workday is watching other people's crazy lives on television. I admit, I LOVE reality television! There is something about watching mindless nonsense that really helps bring a relaxing end to my day. I have always told myself that I have so much intelligence going on in my brain that I can't possibly watch a tv drama with good acting because there simply is no more room to process that sort of thing. It's a work-life balance.

I would say I'm the garden variety reality tv watcher - somewhere in the middle of Dance Moms and National Geographic March of the Penguins. My all-time favs are The Bachelor/Bachelorette, The Challenge (MTV), 19 Kids and Counting, and The Little Couple. I also really like shows on HGTV, Discovery, Travel but they really are not the ridiculous reality tv I am looking for at the end of the day. Once in a while, when I really need to relax, I will watch Honey Boo Boo - one show that literally makes me laugh out loud. So redic.

I Wanna Marry Harry got me hooked and then it was cancelled, really? I didn't think it was that bad! Lucky for me, Fox then released all remaining episodes online and On Demand. My friend Jill just text me the critics reviews of the show: "No one could possibly be watching the show except the losers of bets and people who had just died in front of their television sets." Other outlets proclaimed it was "the worst and weirdest" reality tv show. Annnnd, I had just watched an I Wanna Marry Harry marathon On Demand this weekend. Great, apparently the show was so stupid that I needed it this weekend - must have been a rough week at work.

Expensive Materialistic Things I Shouldn't Buy

There was definitely a time I thought about quantity over quality and ended up with the same three tops in three different colors each that lasted for about 3 washes before they probably should have been tossed. I didn't have time to try things on and just wanted inexpensive and available. I have learned it is better to spend a lot more money on a few really nice things, than little money on crap. If the more expensive things reflect a classic style and fit well then they will last and not end up in the bag of clothes for the roadside donation bins that who knows who actually sorts through. Spend more money now and save money over time, unless you need shopping for occasional mental health therapy - then spend more money now and more money later but hey, you gain a wardrobe and happiness. 

Here are a few of my favorite things. But unlike Oprah, I am not loaded so you're not all getting one for Christmas.

Tory Burch (who, in my household is on a first name basis)

Tory Burch is a beautiful business owner and working mother who not only has an amazing design sense for her brand but who also launched the Tory Burch Foundation - a nonprofit that supports the economic empowerment of women entrepreneurs and their families in the U.S. through small business loans, mentoring programs and education.

The sally wedge is a mid-heel leather wedge that is actually super comfortable once broken in a bit. The wedge gives you the feeling of wearing high heels but not actually wearing foot-cramping heels all day long. Not as tall of a wedge as others, it still looks formal and is very professional. These shoes were certainly an investment but I've worn them for years and all seasons and want them now in beige.

The thora sandal is the perfect casual sandal. Its leather straps are very comfortable and take no getting used to. This sandal can be worn to the beach or with a dress to a nice restaurant. I love the gold, white and camel color combination of this sandal for summer. 

The amanda logo clutch is by far the bag/purse I've gotten the most compliments on - especially by strangers!  The detachable chain makes this clutch into a convenient cross-body or the chain can be removed or tucked inside for a more formal clutch appearance. Again, this item can be used from casual day to fine dining night. It actually is pretty spacious inside and has an inner zipper and a zipper compartment on the outside under the flap that fits my iPhone to a tee. 

Photo credit: www.toryburch.com

Lily Pulitzer

I've always immediately associated this design with sorority girls but once I tried on a pair of her shorts I decided I could get past the association. All Lily shorts are true to size, have a little stretch, are not too short but not too long, and come in great summer colors and styles. 

This buttercup scallop hem short is exactly what I want to be wearing right now. They are very cute but mature and can be dressed up with heels or down for any day.

Photo credit: www.lilypulitzer.com

Alex and Ani

(+) ENERGY

This jewelry maker is my current favorite. I love the bangles and especially the Rafaelian gold finish - it's not too brassy and not yellow gold, it's that coppery mix that goes so well with all the colors of summer. The bangles look great stacked together so it's difficult to buy just one. Each bangle means something and they are supposed to encourage positive energy. Plus, they are made in the USA!

Photo Credit: www.alexandani.com

Some of my other long time "quality focused" purchases are White House Black Market for tops and jackets and Michael Kors for timepieces! (who am I kidding, I mean - watches). 

Photo Credit: www.whitehouseblackmarket.com

These tops can always be worn out and about or to work. Have to love double purpose items when you're paying $100 for a top. Most all of the items are classics too and will last years. Subscribe to their catalog and use those $20 off of $100 coupons. 

Photo Credit: www.michaelkors.com

I have this watch only with a white leather band. It's great because it can be worn with anything and the rose gold metal ties together all of your other jewelry colors. Get a watch like this at Nordstrom Rack for half the price of anywhere else Michael Kors is sold! 

The Light of My Life

Back in 2009, I decided since I had a fenced yard I might like a dog. I had always been a cat person ever since my mom got sick of all the pet store "rodents" (hamsters, guinea pigs, a rabbit and a hedgehog) I would bring home and suggested that my sister and I get kittens from Alwards grocery store (really, you find an ad for free kittens on the grocery store bulletin board and pick one up for free at the trailer park down the street, it's true - Mom knows all).

I have never had the urge to spend 24/7 training a puppy so I knew I wanted an older dog and one from a rescue. No one has yet to convince me why it's appropriate to buy a dog from a breeder or a pet shop when perfectly loving and deserving dogs are homeless and put to sleep permanently every day. 

I spent a lot of time looking on www.petfinder.com for my new companion. I decided on a Miniature Pinscher because there were lots of unwanted MinPins and they are adorable and look similar to the cute dog on the display posters in the pet section of Meijer.

I found a local rescue called Southern Star MinPin Rescue and went to an adoption event they held at PetsMart. I filled out an application online in advance and off to PetsMart I went. There were several MinPins there that day and the foster ladies were really trying to get me to choose this one little baby who had a gimpy leg. I held him for a while but it didn't feel right. So, I lied and said I was a runner and looking for a dog who could run with me.

I was about to leave and headed out of the store when a late arriving MinPin showed up with her foster mom. She was the most adorable MinPin there and she was soo soft. I knelt down to pet her a few times and told the foster mom I was very interested. I learned the MinPin's name was Hailey. She agreed to bring Hailey to my house in a few days for a home check. I purchased a book about MinPins (my mom always told me to buy a book whenever I wanted a new animal - this was the best idea when I wanted a bird, after reading the book about birds, I no longer wanted a bird) and left the store. 

I read about MinPins and how they are not the ideal breed for a first time dog owner but I didn't care. I was up for the challenge. Hailey came to visit with her foster mom and she immediately felt comfortable jumping into my couches and exploring. Yay! My home was approved!

This was probably the most fun part - shopping for a new dog!! Hailey owned quite a bit before she came to live with me. I had no idea what I really needed so I bought everything. I was told Hailey was  crate trained so I got her a new crate and filled it with warm blankets, toys, sweaters, and treats.

The day finally arrived when I got to leave work a bit early and go pick up my very own MinPin! I drove about 45 minutes and arrived to a home full of bouncing MinPins. Hailey was easy for me to recognize because she was the cutest. I signed paperwork, paid the adoption fee, picked her up for the first time (we looked awkward because I didn't know how to hold a dog) and put her in her new crate in the back of my Jeep Wrangler. We were going home!

Hailey has become quite the princess and she knows how to boss me around. Hailey literally herds me to her food. Hailey sleeps under the covers with me every night and loves to go wherever Justin and I go. She loves boat rides, camping, walks, car rides, you name it and she probably loves it. Oh, she HATES nail trims with a passion. She is the most loyal and loving being I have ever known. Hailey has always been there for me during happy and hard times. We've moved to new places and she's always adapted well as long as she has me. There has not been one time where I have come home to greet her and she not acted like it was the best surprise in the world. She cannot contain her excitement (bouncing and spinning) to see me every, single, time, as if it's been days since she saw me last. It really makes me feel special. 

I love Hailey and don't know what I would do without her!

Watertucky

Home Sweet Home

I've gotten many strange looks when I say that I love living in Waterford. But, it's a great place for us right now and the two main reasons are lake access and super low property taxes! I actually got a big refund check in the mail the other day because I had been overpaying my escrow account for property taxes for a year; so nice, I already thought they were cheap and now the Township is telling me "naw we're not even that much, here's money back!"

I have to admit the first drive Justin took me on through Waterford was not impressive. We arrived via Pontiac and it's definitely not the nicest introduction route to Waterford - here's a trailer park with yards not even the size of my office and crappy closed up businesses. Now, the way to direct visitors coming in to see us is 1) from the north come down Sashabaw and then over to Crescent Lake Road, and 2) from any other direction take numerous roads all with "lake" in their name to eventually get to Elizabeth Lake Road - it seems really out of the way but google maps assures me it's only like 5 minutes longer. Driving out of my way around lakes or driving through Pontiac, hmm lakes. I found that M-59 west of Crescent Lake Road is actually really nice and has every shopping option we need.

Our avenue is a particularly classy avenue that I'm slowly discovering more good details about. If we ever want to sell our home I hope prospective buyers also find these details amusing and not a hit to the property value.

The first abode is arguably one of the nicest on the avenue but has the misfortune of being located in the backyard of Waterford's "thumb bar." Yes, it's a bar yanked straight from the middle-top of the thumb of Michigan and stuck in Watertucky. It's really one of those that puts the tucky in the Water. Just picture women in pajamas with their 3 year old, also in pajamas, hanging out drinking (the mom, not the 3 year old), and also working as a bartender, with Joe Dirt on the dance floor falling around to the band so loud you cannot hear anything but the band, and oh yeah you can hear the cranky old men cussing every other word while enjoying their bucket of beer for $1 each beer - it's okay when $1 beer time is done because they go up to the regular rate of $1.25. Want food? What do you want? Good chance it's $1.

Next house, well they decided to re-side this beauty. A good idea since the paint is literally peeling in chunks off the old siding. But wait, driving a Benz was more important than finishing the new siding, you only really look at the front of your house anyway, right? Siding on the sides or back is highly overrated, especially when you have an old barn to party in out back. I bet you never remember what the back or sides of your house even look like after a good rave.

Another house - if you don't have room for a clothes dryer inside the next best place is the front porch. I'm pretty sure they figured out how to fit the dryer inside after about a year. What you do see, is relocate an occupant outside to put the dryer inside. Ever since the dryer disappeared, an old fifth wheel trailer appeared and we are positive someone is living in it. Every now and then a beat up old truck with a confederate flag painted across the entire hood shows up to reposition the fifth wheeler. Probably trying to obtain the best morning sunlight for the lucky tenant.

I'll post more about our avenue another time but I have to say we are doing a good job of fitting in - the other day we had our travel trailer in our driveway, Justin's truck there as well, our popup camper popped up half in the driveway and on an angle into our front lawn and my car diagonally in front of that, ha-HA! I would have been even better if we pulled our pontoon boat from the lake and parked that in the other half of our front yard, next to our neighbor's trailer with canoes that lives in his front yard year-round. 

Hard Knocks

Up at 6 am Monday go to work, occasionally go to a fitness class, come home usually by 7:30 pm, eat dinner, go to bed, and repeat until Saturday morning where I get to sleep in until at least 7:30 am. Since I can barely get anything done during the week due to the work and sleep routine, my weekends are usually packed with to-do list items such as laundry, house cleaning, yard work, appointments, shopping, you name it. I also work a side job where I spend hours of free time writing legal articles on my tiny home laptop to submit to my editor for editing, ha, and publication online. Saturday night it typically a night out with friends to actually relax.

I currently get 10 days off from the workweek a year excluding New Year’s Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas (unless a holiday falls on a weekend). Those 10 days are my personal days, sick days, bereavement days, and vacation days all packed into 10. Do I enjoy my job? Yes. But, I am not a workaholic. Would I have taken a different route if I would have known then what I know now? You bet.

I went to college for seven years to have the ability to do what I get paid to do Monday through Friday. You would think I would have a lot to show for all of my work effort but I don’t because I took out student loans that I cannot afford to pay back right now. Thank you to the Bush administration for Income-Based Repayment which caps my student loan payments at only 15% of my income. The reality is my loans will never be repaid on my 25 year plan but I can still drive my 2009 Jetta and pay a small mortgage.

When I took out student loans for Michigan State University and for a private law school, I thought I would start out making a six figure salary. Wrong. Don’t lawyers make a lot of money? Most don’t. I’m not stupid, I graduated at the top of my law school class and did many internships and part time jobs gaining a lot of experience but the fact is there are too many lawyers.

Like I told Governor Snyder, kids should not be told they can become whatever they want to when they grow up… unless mommy and daddy are paying the bill and can get you a job – then, yes go for your dreams! No, kids should be well informed and choose a career that is actually in demand and is hiring in the area they want to live. Check to see what jobs are posted on indeed.com right now, and then pick your major. Talk to recent grads who are working in your desired field and see what kind of hours they work and how much they are paid. I am sure Governor Snyder will write me back some day... it’s only been 3 years.

Doctors will take out massive student loans but will inevitably be loaded and the loans will be paid off. RN only requires a bachelor’s degree and although the degree is super competitive, the demand for RN’s is high and you only work 3 days a week, score! If you don’t want to work very much, I would say become a teacher but this is also a career where the market is flooded and teaching jobs are very difficult to come by. Engineering seems to be smart – everyone I know that has this type of degree has been flown across the country for multiple interviews so be prepared to relocate. Business – the go-to major – business is a great major to have because most all careers deal in business (I would recommend finance or supply chain as the hot areas right now).

Be smarter than me – just be a stay at home mom, just kidding! (not really). I’m sure that future generations will look back at my generation as the generation that really screwed up when it came to taking out student loans but the fact is we didn’t think anything of it. It’s very difficult to figure out what type of job you want to have when you “grow up” especially when working doesn’t seem all that fun. Hell, I often think I’d like to work at Bath and Body Works. My lesson to the new freshman in college is first think about the type of life you want, then think about your dream job, because over time you may realize the life you live outside of work is your dream and a job is just a job.

Just eat some sugar.

When I was 12, I woke up possessed in the middle of the night and got into a fight with the kitchen garbage can.

Okay, actually, I think I got up to go to the bathroom, ended up blacking out, wandered into the kitchen, got extra dizzy, tried to catch my balance on something that turned out to be the garbage can, it didn’t work, and fell over. My sister witnessed most of this and that’s where the “possessed” allegation comes into play. Yes, I can still walk when I am blacked out, I just can’t see where I am walking. It is when I am passed out that I lack motor skills.

Fast forward to my junior year at MSU, with a lot of blacking out along the way, and I spent a few mornings and afternoons in the emergency room. I thought I was going to die. At least, that is what I said and why I was driven to the emergency room, and I am pretty sure I really thought so. Now, these emergency room visits do not include the trips to the ER when I poisoned myself with the old Ragu sauce, the long leftover pizza and the 11 pm, right before they close, McDonald’s double cheeseburger. Oh yeah and when Grandma let me eat an entire watermelon in one sitting, that doesn’t count either. Never eat an entire watermelon… you may think a lot of water is good for you, you are wrong because I was wrong.

The doctors having no clue what to do started with my heart. I never should have brought up the fact that I had Kawasaki Disease when I was younger. That damn carpet. My mom drove to East Lansing and took me to Sparrow Hospital for every heart test the doctors could order. I was abused by a plastic monitor several times, I ran on a treadmill with wires hooked to me, I wore a monitor under my baggy pajama shirt for 24 hours completely wired to class and all, and the best was having an IV in my hand with meds to speed up my heart rate while being strapped to a table that flips you up and down. Result = I have a healthy heart! Yay. Check that off my list for the future. I can continue to eat fast food for every meal because it clearly doesn’t adversely affect me and when I compete in the Olympics as a super-athlete I won’t drop dead from some unknown heart issue.

Finally I agreed to do a glucose tolerance test. I think they wanted to do it earlier but I was too afraid of needles poking my arm. Bad experience with getting blood drawn when I was little…my mom would literally have to pry my fingers and toes off the door frame to get me out of the house and into the car to go to the doctor for blood draws – after she bribed me with the choice of a trip to Toys R Us or Major Magic for every appointment (every week), I got better.

Anywho, we went to do the sugar test and I had my blood drawn at least six times that day. I had an empty stomach and they fed me sugar in a Dixie cup. It was pretty terrible. I will never drink from a Dixie cup again. Turns out I have hypoglycemia.

Explains A LOT, examples include: why I’m always exhaaaausted, why I’m always dizzy, why I see checkerboards often, why my brain shuts down and I cannot make a rational decision until I eat, why I have to eat so often, why I have pulled off the freeway several times for sake of passing out while driving, why I get headaches 3 times a day, why my baby toe goes behind my other toes without me trying to make it do that, why my hands sometimes look like puppets, why my heart feels like it races and why I fight garbage cans. Knowing about my hypoglycemia explains a lot once you know me.

I personally blame my hypoglycemia on the following: why I have to eat at restaurants at least 4 nights per week, why I eat fast food (duh, because it is fast and I need food now), why I hit snooze on my alarm at least 5 times every morning, why I don’t drink coffee but energy drinks with the fake sugar are okay as long as they are mixed with vodka because I don’t notice the hypoglycemia effects when I’m drinking vodka, why I randomly cry, why I always have bruises from not looking where I am going before I go, why glass objects seem to go flying off tables near me, why I get super carsick, why anything I do that seems crazy is not really my fault.

SO, in order to try my best to avoid having the above reactions, I must avoid sugar, fruit, carbohydrates, alcohol and caffeine. My favorite things are sour patch kids, cinnamon sugar pop tarts, cinnamon toast crunch cereal, macaroni and cheese, all pasta, vodka and energy drinks. Yeah, are you kidding me? I’ve managed to really try to eat better and it does help. I can almost instantly tell when I have eaten too much sugar. It makes me semi-brain-dead pretty quickly.

Well if you have low blood sugar then why can’t you eat sugar? Because the reason my blood sugar drops so low is due to the way sugar is processed in my body. Thence, avoid sugar or substances processed in the body like sugar, avoids sugar dropping low! Ta-da!!

Hypoglycemia is super annoying. If I don’t get to eat what I need to eat I am limited in what I can do for the rest of the day. Once I screw up my diet, the only thing that helps is time. And to me the best way to pass time, is to sleep. I’m sure everyone I have ever worked with thinks “damn that girls eats a lot”. But stand corrected people, I don’t eat a lot, I eat often.

My family makes fun of how I get when I don’t eat and after being with me for a year and a half, my boyfriend understands their humor. At least I’m not actually possessed. Then they would have big problems, not me. I mean, what do you do with a possessed daughter? Take her to Major Magic and make sure she doesn’t attack the electronic singing bears when those curtains rush to the sides? Maybe.

Childhood Development

1. Duck tape doesn’t exist.

2. The Tooth Fairy has the same handwriting as my mom.

3. If you cry when you don’t get a gift on your sister’s birthday, you will get a gift on her birthday next year.

4. “Grandpa’s Medicine” in a sippie-cup always makes you fall asleep easier because the ingredients are warm Vernors and whiskey.

5. If mommy gets mad at daddy, you get a hamster.

6. If you can’t decide what to wear to school, you miss having to ride the bus.

7. Temper tantrums in public will cause your mother to forget who you are.

8. There are things you can spend your money on when it no longer becomes acceptable to buy toys.

9. “Because I said so” is what it is.

10. Unicorns actually have a nose.

Laser'd

The day I got my magic eyes was May 9, 2011. I wore glasses for ten years and then glasses and contacts for another 11 years. According to my mom, the eye doctor discovered I was completely blind at age 6 and I thought glasses would be super cool to have ;) I got my way and got my glasses.

The glasses started to become not so cool in junior high school because they went with my spiral permed hair (with a pound of hair gel per day), black/turquoise/purple braces, Nike jumpsuits (with the elastic bands at the ankles, of course) and last name of “Siemen” way too well.

I desperately wanted contact lenses. It only took me about five visits to the eye doctor “practicing” how to put the contacts in that the assistant just put them in for me and sent me on my merry way. Problem: my contacts were in and they eventually needed to come out. I spent so much time bawling and screaming in the bathroom trying to get the damn plastic films off my eyeballs with no success that we called for help.

Somehow I was convinced to use the “float off” method. I dunked my entire face in a giant bowl of water and attempted to open my eyes wide to allow the contacts to merely float away from my eyeballs. FAIL!

No clue how I ended up getting those suckers out but it happened and during the following years I instructed numerous friends and family members on the application and removal of contact lenses. Those who learn the hard way are the very best teachers.

Contacts were my best friend. One time I got colored lenses, which hurt like hell but looked amazing, and used a different color in each eye. One green eye, one blue eye, awesome huh?

The spring of 2007 I was attacked by the fresh squeezed orange juice in Florida and have had terrible allergies ever since (well, until I got my magic eyes). These allergies involved me wanting to rip my nose and eyes off/out wash them off with some type of very soothing serum and reapply. Long story short, I could not wear contacts during my 4 month long allergy season. My glasses were terrible and made me extremely dizzy because they were soo thick. The prescription was so strong I could only look straight ahead in them, no sideways glances – I’m serious – so driving was a bit difficult. After dealing with the allergies for too long I made the decision to get laser’d. My boyfriend had gotten some type of it done and they screwed it up pretty bad but he still recommended it so what the hay!

Skip forward to the day of the lasering: I’m sitting in the patient waiting area after the lady gives me only one white pill when I know I really need two, and I’m listening to the entire surgery of the asian girl that is getting laser’d before me. They tell her to count down from 30 and voila she is done. That’s not so bad! I can totally count from 30.

I go in and my biggest fear (besides vomiting on the surgeon) was not being able to blink during the lasering. No big deal turns out because they clamp your eyeballs open so tight there is no way in hell you can blink and you are so freaking scared stupid that you don’t want to do anything to compromise eyeballs at this point. The surgeon is constantly applying a moist solution to your eyeballs so you really have no urge to blink which is fabulous.

Don’t read this paragraph if you don’t want to know. First they cut the flap with a little round saw thing and that is fine, no pain and so weird. Then the doctor lifts up the flap he just cut so you can stare at the red dot in the middle of the laser. You count from whatever number they tell you to count from and don’t expect it to be 30 like I did. I was all good with 30 and then they told me my lucky number was 75. 75!!!!!!? After 75, the lasering is done and on to the next eyeball. People warned me that there would be a weird smell in the air during the lasering but I didn’t breathe once during the procedure so I smelled nothing. Solved that!

So 75 is a pretty long time to count. I was comfortable with 30. Apparently when you have a prescription that is -12.00, 75 is your number. Yeah people, I could not see a damn thing. All you people who told me, oh my vision is really bad too and you have a -2.75 prescription, lucky you and you CAN see. I saw shadows and distorted shapes before my magic eyes.

I was sat up and told to look at the clock and tell them the time. I could see it! Holy hell, I still cannot believe it. I still cannot believe every day when I wake up I don’t have to put something on or in my eye to see, it is wonderful. I would highly recommend getting magic eyes to anyone. If I can do it, you can do it. I was shaking so badly while laying on the surgery table bed that they gave me a pillow to grip and the doctor scolded the lady for not giving me two white pills (knew it). After I saw that clock, I cried. I had to abruptly stop crying though because the doctor said I could mess up my magic eyes. They warned my boyfriend ahead of time that I was a basketcase and he took me home, I slept for the afternoon, kept my eyes shut as much as possible and drove myself to work the next morning! Ta-da!

Really the worst part of the whole thing was not being able to wear makeup for like 2 weeks after the procedure! However, I have fully recovered from that trauma.

Tips a la Slammer

1. Don’t make a police officer’s job any easier: this means take advantage of your constitutional rights!

Have you been drinking/doing anything illegal? No.
Can I search your car? No.
Can I come into your home? No.
Take this PBT/breath test. No.

Let’s face it, if a police officer wants to perform a search of your property or of yourself, they will, but it doesn’t mean it is a legal search. That’s what lawyers are for$

If you are stopped by police while driving and they tell you to submit to a breath test, you will automatically lose your license if you refuse via Secretary of State. So I say this is the only exception to the “just say no” rule. If you refuse, poof goes your license unless you have brilliant reason to appeal that rule, and you will be taken to have a blood draw. I say it is easier to dispute a breath test than a blood draw. However, another attorney in my office argues to go for the blood draw and take the chance your blood will go missing. When making this decision for yourself, I urge you to consider the city you may be dealing with – chances of missing evidence in Detroit… vs. …well, you know.

You are, after all, innocent until proven guilty. I’m pretty sure that is how it is supposed to work anyways…

2. Probation is the judge granting you a favor by not sending you to jail.

The new trend seems to be clients asking me to have the judge send them to jail rather than extended probation. Waking up early every morning for the electronic woman to tell you the color of the day totally interferes with your important schedule. And what if you want to go party with your friends this weekend and that hooker says “blue”? Taking two weeks out of your life is a quality alternative especially because of the overcrowding 5 days equal 1 free policy, right?

3. Depending on what jurisdiction you decided to become a criminal in (innocent until proven guilty?), you may end up testing for drugs and alcohol on a daily basis even if your crime of choice has nothing to do with drugs or alcohol.

Word to the wise: Never, under any circumstances, think you will be okay if you go to court drunk or high (this means having anything in your system or just don't use drugs, people!!). Think this doesn’t happen? ...and drinking a lot of water that morning because you were super thirsty won’t work either.

4. If you end up lucky enough to get a delayed sentence or a case dismissed, make sure your arrest card and fingerprints are destroyed so when you mark “No” for ever having being charged with a crime on your graduate school application, no one else can find out the answer is “Yes”.

One hobby of mine is checking people out on the Michigan State Police criminal history database :)

5. If you are ever in a bar fight and a police officer asks you whether you want to “prosecute”, the answer is “yes”.

If you are in a bar fight, that means you are fighting, that means you are committing assault and or battery or both. If you don’t prosecute, someone will. Get it?